The Inability to Forgive Ruins People’s Life

Unforgiveness: Rumination of Negative Emotion

For those who fail to forgive, they will get stuck by bad memories for years or even for a lifetime. I would say, people grasp wounded memories out of the desire to accuse those who hurt them. Only when you stop blaming anyone or anything, you will be free from the torture of bad memories. Again, anger brings out the worst version of ourselves and it blinds our visions to see the blessings around us.

For sure, we might lose something or someone precious in life. However, we have tons of chances to regain our honor and we have chances to meet some wonderful persons later in our life too.It doesn’t matter what people say. Prove them wrong. It’s doesn’t matter what people do, leave it to God’s wrath. Do not let anyone easily affect your emotions or judgments about yourself.

7 Tips to Forgiveness

• Minimize your own suffering and loss. You feel terrible when you believe that you lose something valuable. When you believe that you lose nothing or you lose something or someone insignificant, it will be much easier for you to practice forgiveness out of self-love.
• The more conscious of our own flaws and past errors, the easier to practice forgiveness. Have we misjudged anyone? Do we say mean words when we get irritated? Are we being impatient to the ones who love us? Do we spread unverified rumors?
• Practice Compassion Meditation: Focus on the pain of others instead of focusing on your own pain. Envision the grievance of everyone around you. Everyone has their hard lessons in life. People want to be envied and they hide tears from you.
• Focus on the good things in life and the memories of being loved. Note down all your luck, blessings, strength and talents with a gratitude journal. Note down the ones you want to protect. It will help boost your mental strength.
• You can’t let go of bad memories because you have the desire to accuse something or someone. Thus, either expose the wickedness of the wicked or let go of the desire to accuse the one who hurt you.
• Believe in God’s justice. Take advice from the Bible. The Bible says God will repay the deeds. Thus, “keep no record of the wrongs” and “leave room for God’s wrath” (1 Peter 4: 8; Romans 12:18–19).
• Repentance of the seven deadly sins: Anger is one of the seven deadly sins.

Psychology on Forgiveness

Psychologists define forgiveness as a conscious decision to release anger, hatred or resentment toward someone or something.

Margaret W. Lavigne

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Originally published at Wise Library 1985.