Never Blame Yourself for Being a Fool in Love

It is a commonplace thing to be fool in love. That’s what most people do in love.

Without full trust, there’s no true intimacy in the relationship. And the truth is that people choose to be fools in love by giving full trust to their significant partner. Because we are unwilling to suspect the ones we love.

We choose to give our full trust to someone we love. People fail to make a correct judgment in love relationship because they tend to believe everything their partner said. As to my observation, those who are decent in character are those who choose to believe the goodness of human nature and they never lie to their partner.

There are psychiatrists who claims that the people with depression are the kindest people they have ever seen, because there is no darkness in their hearts, so there is no suspicion as well. Conversely, the compulsive liars are those who fail to give full trust to their lovers in love relationships. They never expect true love but deceptions.

Remember, the one who is worthy of your love never break your heart and trust.

A new study published in The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology asserts the fear of being single may drive adults to stay in bad relationships or settle for less-than-desirable partners.

Stephanie Spielmann, a post-doctoral researcher at the University of Toronto, conducted seven studies exploring how the fear of loneliness affects romantic relationships. Of 153 participants, 40% of participants feared not having a long term companion, 18 % feared “spinsterhood,” 12% feared losing a current partner, 11% feared growing old alone, 7% feared never having children and a family, 7% feel worthless by being single, 4% feared negative judgments from others and 0.7% said any relationship (even if horrible) was better than being alone.

Spielmann Spielman found that” people’s anxieties about being single seem to play a key role” in “unhealthy relationship behaviors.” Due to the fear of being single, people ended up staying in unhealthy relationships or settling for partners who were not ideal for themselves.

Stephanie Spielman conclude that people who are dread of single life “prioritize relationship status above relationship quality, settling for less responsive and less attractive partners and remaining in relationships that are less satisfying.”

In my perspective, those who fear of being single are those who fear of being devalued in the group.

You should never stop believing you deserve a better love relationship because of former failed love experiences.

There are wonderful women who have wonderful single lives and there are countless women who have pathetic lives because of terrible marriages, and they are unwilling to let it go.

Most women are told or instructed to find their Mr. Prince in life as they grow up by their female elders. In real life, wonderful men are often out of stock.

Too many women become the captives of romantic dramas. Because they are implanted with the idea that only when they find their Mr. Right, their life become complete and fulfilled. If not, their life would be something missing or their life might be judged badly by the mainstream public.

Is love relationship necessary for every woman? How was your life when you were young and single?

Of course, every confident woman is able to have wonderful life without having a love relationship. A good love relationship is a bonus rather than a must for life. Most people set up the wrong hypothesis and imprison themselves.

The real fact is that a love relationship cannot not fully take away your loneliness, but a wrong love relationship can possibly destroy a person who used to have a good single life.

Never stigmatize life troubles and frustrations. We fall and we learn from life experiences.

Falling in love with Mr. Wrong is something far from a sin. Never blame yourself for that. Never hold self-hatred against yourself for falling in love with the wrong man.

No everyone can be rational in love. Countless people loss their life when they try to get off the love bus. It’s never easy to end a bad relationship and devious lovers[1] are everywhere. And you can’t tell it by their cover.

Does the mainstream media label those who find their Mr. Right early in their life as the fortunate girls? That’s a perfect ideology for men. Thanks to this despicable ideology, countless women rush themselves in a relationship and trap themselves in bad relationships.

Countless women dare not voice their struggling in love because they are dread of being labeled as an unlucky woman in the route of love.

Nowadays, single men can be discriminated too. So, and they fail to end a bad relationship because they are dread of being labeled as an unfaithful and irresponsible man by the pubic crowd. There’s too much social pressure get involved in love relationships.

As human beings, we are sent to the world to take life courses by God. We fall and we learn from life experiences.

The truth is bad news are not necessarily bad things as you look back in your life. Any troublesome events could be God’s idea to drive you out of the comfort zone for self-improvement or it could be God’s idea to make you leave someone who is not worthy of your affection, effort and time.

It’s nothing wrong to be fool and innocent in love.[2] But it’s deadly wrong if you choose to resume a septic and malicious relationship for the sake of public eye.

End bad relationship in time. As long as we are alive, we are given the opportunity to make things right and better.

In life’s journey, there will be tears and disappointments, and there will surprises and blessings if you stay positive and keep goodwill at heart.

Keep believing in God. And be confident to your problem-solving abilities. Life is not full of roses. But life can be better than you thought if you keep embracing a goodwill and keep being enthusiastic about life.[3]

*****

Too many people link the idea of “being single” and “being pathetic”

If you are the one who was forced to end a relationship, you lose someone who doesn’t love you and he/she lose someone who loves him/her.

If your ex is a terrible lover, congratulations. There’s nothing left to mourn. You just get rid of a big trouble. Saying goodbye to a terrible ex could be a great relief. And your life would be much better after ending a bad relationship. Don’t blame yourself if your ex is a terrible lover.

When it comes to love, it doesn’t matter he/she loves you or not. What matters is does he/she cherish you or not. What matters is are you being comfortable in this relationship. What matters is are you happy and feel beloved in this relationship.

If you are the one who was asked to end a love relationship, you might feel totally vulnerable, helpless or desperate shortly after a breakup. If you still in love with your ex, stay calm. Don’t be a stalker and don’t be overly emotional. That’s do nothing good to the reality. Will you take a man or women because he/she claims to love you?

Respect his/her decision. Crying can’t win a person’s love but pity or compassion. If your partner was forced to keep the relationship out of compassion, they might fall in love with others ultimately.

Ask yourself: Is it a right decision to spend your life with someone who doesn’t love you? Give yourself some rest or pleasure, such a trip to somewhere you always want to visit. Spend time with those who can give you comforts, such as plants, kids or FBF. For those who don’t have a solid social circle, they might take more time to heal.

You are deserved to be loved and a failed love relationship cannot take away any piece of the value of you.

[1] Compulsive liars are good at making good impressions to the public and they are talented and careful in packaging their outward images to earn trust with a purpose.

[2] Compulsive liars are skeptical because they often tell lies and thus most of them have trusty issues in intimate relationships. And they don’t believe there will people who love them and accept them unconditionally. Most people have similar IQs. People can only be deceived by those they never doubt. And decent people are those who are unwilling to doubt others’ words and they choose to believe in their loved ones all the time. Because they believe the goodness of human nature.

[3] It is said that Satan is waiting for the chances to take advantages of our weakness. Satan loves negative emotions. There are powerful tools to fight against negative emotions, ranged from positive faith, gratitude, compassion, forgiveness, rationality to self-love.