Divorce Stigma: Those Who Stigmatize Divorce Are the Culprits to Trap Women in Toxic Marriages
Famed Taiwanese female writer Ms. Qiong-Yao mentioned that her first husband rarely came home at night after getting married. At the age of twenty-five, she considered ending her first short-term marriage. She wasn’t sure about what to do and she asked her mother, “I can’t keep this marriage anymore. May I end this marriage? Should I get a divorce with him?” Her mother told her “When you bite a bad egg, with just one bite, you know it is rotten inside, do you still want to finish the egg?”
Qiong-Yao said that her mother is avant-garde. I believe that her mother just cannot bear to see her daughter suffering in a terrible loveless marriage.
**
Is it justified to live under the same roof as couples when both parties stop loving each other? Doesn’t it violate the spirit of true love? What’s wrong to end an uncomfortable or disturbing relationship?
It’s absolutely cruel, foolish and unreasonable to keep someone in an unhappy loveless or even mentally abusive marriage for a lifetime.
Ending an unhealthy relationship or loveless marriage is an absolutely a wise decision, it’s the foolish and malicious prejudice from the public that hurts.
Stick to a loveless marriage or troublesome marriage is much like hanging on to a huge mistake persistently. Do not embrace a lifetime mistake for the sake of the public eye.
It’s a wonderful idea that lovers or couples go through thick and thin together and support each other even in hard times. But it only happens if your partner is the RIGHT person.
Divorce is something which had been stigmatized for centuries. It absolutely has something to do with the victim-blaming culture. In the past, getting a divorce was labeled as a failure, an unforgivable mistake or even sin, which was a deadly wrong cliché and led to countless tragedies on earth.
The truth is that keeping an emotionally abusive marriage assures a heart-wrenching life. Those who stigmatize divorce are the culprits to tie women to unhealthy or toxic marriages.
It’s understandable that human beings seek comfort and mental support by embracing a love relationship especially when they are emotionally vulnerable.
It’s not easy to counter against social prejudice. Divorce is not for the weak. The weak can’t end a bad relationship because they are the lifetime captives of the public eye. The public eye loves winner and success. Only person with strong inner self is able to end a bad love relationship. Only the mentally strong persons are bold enough to question and fight against permanent unreasonable social prejudice.
Ending a bad or wrong love relationship is never easy. Those who aim to bury their rest of lives in problematic relationships or even abusive marriages are mentally vulnerable and helpless.
It’s never easy to get a divorce if your partner is unwilling to let go off the relationship. Once again, it’s never easy to get a divorce. If a married woman is able to walk about a relationship without encountering domestic violence or able to end an unhappy unhealthy marriage which is full of suffering, that’s something worth celebrating with champagne!
As people grow up, individuals generally internalize the mainstream ideology from the public, social media or from their parents, peers or teachers. Sometimes, people accept terribly foolish ideas without a second thought.
Stigma is much like an invisible tattoo which people utilities to denigrates a person’s self-value, self-identity and self-confidence.
Social stigma essentially has something to do with discrimination, bias and prejudice. Oftentimes, there are people who attempt to make themselves superior to others by discriminating others.
By staying with Mr. Wrong or even Mr. Abusive, you sacrifice the chance for a better life and better future.
If breakups and failed marriages are justified and defined as part of the normal process in the route of love-searching, there won’t be social stigma, or social prejudice and there’s no trauma.
**
Too many women spend their life with someone who is not worthy of their time and love. Taiwanese Actress Tsai Cham-Der was asked in an interview with the question “Why don’t you get married like other girls?”
She responded “Marriage means that if you lose the desire to be with your husband anymore, you have to beg him to sign the paper. What if he doesn’t want to sign the paper and end the relationship?”
She pinpointed the plight of the married women in Taiwan that countless women fail to get permission from their partner as they aim to get a divorce. Getting a divorce in Taiwan is never easy. The law in Taiwan is not being helpful for married women to escape from a bad marriage.
It’s absolutely a wise decision to end a bad, unsuitable or uncomfortable disturbing relationship than keep a loveless or disturbing relationship.
**
Keeping a marriage is super easy because getting a divorce is never easy and time-consuming. Most people assume those who keep a marriage are those who enjoy marital happiness, which is but a common superficial assumption lack of much understanding about marriage.
To say the least, social prejudice is an invisible sinister form of violence, bullying and persecution. If the society is able to stop stigmatizing divorce, there will be fewer false marriages and fewer unhappy troublesome marriages on earth. Because unhappy couples stay together not out of love but the fear of tattoo and social prejudice.
However, there are people who feel their dignity damaged because of a failed relationship or a failed marriage because of the pervasive social aura is not being friendly to women who fall in the route of love-searching.
What’s wrong to end a bad or unhealthy relationship?
A bad intimate relationship can easily diminish a woman’s sense of tranquility and damage her self-confidence, self-worth and self-esteem. Keeping or maintaining a toxic relationship is absolutely the worst life decision to a woman.
Never let people’s prejudice dictate your big decisions in life. Everyone gossips and everyone makes reckless judgments. Those who truly love you would only love you more when you are being vulnerable. Never allow yourself to be the slave of the public eye. Life is yours and it only comes once.
Life is too short. Be the master of your life and let the foolish guys talk.
There’s no sense to depreciate yourself because of a certain failed love relationship. Never devalue yourself a bit for the sake of the foolish public eye.
If anyone who tries to judge or value the quality of a couple’s relationship by a marriage certificate, I would be astonished. I can’t figure out how this foolish idea can be widely accepted.
Keeping a toxic marriage is a shortcut to make yourself suffer from chronic depression and pressure. The causality between cancer, depression and pressure are proved.
If a woman chooses to stay with a man who does not cherish her at all for a lifetime, that’s the stereotypical symptom of self-abuse and low self-esteem. That’s a warning sign that she knows nothing about self-love and self-respect.
If a woman is able to take good care of herself first and utilizes her extra energy to take good care of people around her, that’s a demonstration of true self-love. However, if a woman fails to take good care of her personal needs and feelings and focus on serving others instead all the time, that’s the sign of begging for love.
It’s a comforting thing to end an unsuitable marriage without troubles, fights, slander, or backbiting.
As to an unhealthy, abusive or toxic relationship, divorce means stop hurting and stop getting hurt.
A lifetime happy marriage is about two persons who are willing to fall in love over and over again. You can’t have a wonderful marriage if your significant partner doesn’t want to work it out with you.
If you can’t make your mind on whether to end the marriage or not, schedule a vacation and keep a distance with your partner for a while and you might find the answer.
If you marry the wrong person in the very first place, you can never make things right no matter what. Be brave and wipe away your tears. Leave the person who abuses your trust and leave you heart-broken repeatedly.
It’s better to come out of a bad marriage. Do not waste your life on an unworthy man who did not deserve your affection, attention, and commitment.[1] Many wives stay in an unhappy marriage for the sake of their children. But the fact is that kids can’t enjoy family life if their parents have a troublesome relationship. Further, kids’ emotions can be highly affected by parent’s negative emotions, including sorrow, pressure or depression.
[1] Indeed, there are men who entered into a marriage for other reasons rather than love.
